the film is simple: The blind Master of the Flying Guillotine is out to kill the One-Armed Boxer. Yes, this is a fighting film in which the two protagonists are, ahem, differently-abled. This does not prevent them from kicking insane amounts of ass. Master of the Flying Guillotine is one ass-kicking after another. Hell, in the middle of the movie they stop dead for a martial arts tournament that absorbs about a third of the film's running time with nothing but one warrior after another duking out to the death in whatever bizarre fighting style they favor. It's basically Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter in film form (and both those games would rip off ideas and characters from this sequence).
pigeon that his two disciples have been killed by the One-Armed Boxer. Never mind that said disciples set out to kill said One-Armed Boxer, somehow they must be avenged. So Fung Master jumps through his roof, whips off a bunch of fencepost skulls with his flying guillotine, blows up his house and sets off to dish out the comeuppance!
And so we come to said martial arts tournament. And, literally, it is one wacky fighter after another getting in the ring and battling until one's corpse is carried away. Behold...
Fake Bruce Lee vs. Fake Bruce Lee
Pointy-Hat High-Jump vs. The Man With Strategically Exposed Nipples
Mighty Choking Pigtail vs. Mustache Leatherdaddy
Little Guy Who Kicks People in the Nuts vs. Big Guy Who Punches People in the Face
Princess Eagle Claw vs. Monkeybutt-asshole.
Two Guys Who Fight on Poles Over a Pit of Knives
Yes, that's how good this movie is: Fighting on poles over a pit of knives is a throwaway battle.
Blades n' Jammies vs. Gadget Arms Yoga Guy
Uncouth Muy Thai Douchebag vs.Snakestyle Fancypants
Mantis-Style Moptop vs. The Wrong One-Armed Boxer
Of course, Actual One-Armed Boxer gets dragged into this once he realizes Old Blind Nazi Monk Who I Bet Digs Throbbing Gristle Too is on a mission and will not be stopped.
one-armed man -- and check it. Better to just kill 'em all.
One-Armed Boxer shoos his kung fu students off to safety, takes a challenge from Uncouth Muy Thai Douchebag (who is in cahoots with Flying Guillotine, somehow) and Gadget Arms Yoga Guy (Did you really think they were only gonna use that one once?). Master of the Flying Guillotine understands that good martial arts movies are like porn in one crucial aspect: The audience is here for the action. Plot is downtime. Get to what we came to see. Thus, Master of the Flying Guillotine has a crazed, balls-to-the-wall fight every five minutes and often more frequently than that.
no-holds-barred battle, with a warm-up duel against Uncouth Mui Thai Douchebag.. All of this took a lot of location scouting -- we even see them renting the coffin shop (Yes!) for the closing fight. The One-Armed Boxer is as much about strategy as he is about force. I bet he can chessbox too...
Master of the Flying Guillotine is a must-see in the world of martial arts flicks. It has inspired remakes, hip-hop albums, T-shirts, action figures, countless ripoffs and its own Urban Dictionary. entry. Can you say the same about Citizen Kane or Last Year in Marienbad?